Dear non-fat friends,
I love you all, even those of you who are not my friends but the friends of other fatties. You're awesome, because you don't buy into the shallow bullshit that a lot of other people do. Fatties are used to people avoiding them because they either think fat is contagious, or that fatties are not "cool enough" for them. So kudos to those of you who don't buy into that and love your fatty friends.
But I want to talk to you about the way you approach your single fat friends with the subject of dating. Cos some of you get it really wrong. And I want to help you get it right!
- It is ok to arrange for us to meet single guys that you know, so long as you ask us first. Either blind dates or introducing us at an event.
- Ask yourself "Would I date him?" If the answer is no, then don't suggest him to us. We are fat, we are not desperate.
- The guy that lives with his mother... is he caring for her or is she caring for him? If she's caring for him, don't suggest him to us.
- Do not suggest that we are lesbians unless we have expressed desire for women. Fat women are not all closet lesbians. It's an insult to everyone to think this way.
- If you know that we are a lesbian, it's ok to introduce us to other lesbians. Do not introduce us to other fat women on the assumption that we will just get our fat on together and become lesbians.
- Do not suggest that we may get more dates if we "just lose some weight". We don't want to date the kind of men who won't date us as we are.
- Do not tell us "But you have such a pretty face." when we complain about being single. This implies the following sentence "Despite your fat body."
- When we are out together, and some guy behaves like a douchebag towards we fatties, do not then give him your phone number, flirt with him or have sex with him, no matter how hot he is. This tells us that some douchebag is of more value than our friendship. Besides, if he treats us badly now, he's probably going to treat you badly later.
- Do not suggest that we should cover up any of the fat bits of our bodies before we go out. Yes, I know I have big fat arms. I don't care, it's hot and this sleeveless top is pretty.
- Don't ask your fat friends for dating advice, and then dismiss it because they are fat and probably don't get any dates anyway. They're used to having to think more about how other people behave, they probably have the best advice.
- Remember, if you wouldn't go out with him, don't suggest him to us. Just gotta make sure you understand that one.
- If you double date with a fat friend, don't comment on her food or your own. Nobody really cares but you, and you'll just make your friend feel bad for no reason.
- Don't ask your fat friend how she got a date with the great guy. She got it because she is awesome and he's smart.
- Most of all, treat your single fat friend the same way you would treat any other single friend.
Again, you're an awesome friend and we know you mean well, but sometimes it's hard to understand that something can be hurtful when your intentions are good.
Thanks for being a great friend.