Fitting In to the Fatosphere

I've had a few conversations lately with various folks regarding the feeling of "not fitting in" to the fatosphere. It seems that this is a common feeling for several fatties out there, and thus their hesitance to jump on in.

For me, fat acceptance is not a club. It's not about fitting in to a group or movement. It's not about being part of some kind of clique, though I do see a LOT of cliques forming, some of them more poisonous than cliques out there in the thinosphere (I just made that up, maybe it could be notfatosphere).

I believe fat acceptance is about two things.

1) Acceptance of myself. For who I am, how I am, what I am. Finding good self esteem and confidence to be who I am, and to live a full positive life. To live my life to the fullest as I am.

2) Acceptance of others, by others. For me to accept others as they are and leave them to be as they are for one, but most importantly, for others to accept me as I am, and leave ME to be as I am. That means accepting that I am fat, without prejudice or discrimination and that I and other fat people are under no obligation to stop being fat, and that we are not lesser beings for being fat.

That's what it boils down to at the very core of what I believe fat acceptance to be.

That doesn't mean that you're never out to improve yourself, challenge yourself or expand your horizons. It means that you accept yourself right here, right now and any changes, improvements, or challenges you make are made for you, not anyone else. There is always something we can improve about ourselves, but we have to be doing it for ourselves, not because other people say we should. Because positive striving to improve yourself is part of living a full life. I will talk about this more in another post I think.

Fat acceptance is not about joining or being anything to fit in with others. I don't feel the need to be a fat fashion plate, just to enjoy the clothes and accessories that I like. I don't feel the need to be BBW and become sexualised as a fat woman, just to feel beautiful as I am.

However, that doesn't mean that these things don't interest me in elements. I like fat fashion, without having to be a fatshionista. I find images sexy fat women empowering and good for my self esteem, without having to join their ranks in the BBW communities.

I understand that Kate Harding is seen as the goddess of all things Fatosphere, and that to many fatties, criticism of Shapely Prose or the contributors is seen as the ultimate betrayal of fatz. I disagree with this - while I find elements of Shapely Prose and it's contributors highly useful, articulate and sometimes inspirational, I don't feel the need to take on board everything that is said there. It's opinion and opinion will always differ. Don't let that stop any of you visiting Shapely Prose either - I am sure everyone will find something of use that they can take on board.

That goes for all the other fatosphere communities and contributors out there - get out and read as much as you can, find what resonates with you, share it and don't worry about the stuff that doesn't sit right with you. It's ok, there is no compulsory reading or community for fat acceptance.

But here's the thing. Your life is your life. You need to live it to it's full. Find what helps you live your life to the full and expand upon it. If something doesn't contribute positively to you being able to live your life to it's fullest and best, then you are under no obligation to continue with that activity, community or school of thought.

If I in any way help you live your life to the fullest with this little blog, then I am deeply honoured.

When the Fatosphere Impacts the Mainstream

I've got an interesting tidbit for you all today.

In my journeys across the fatosphere, I stumbled across this snippet from The Colbert Report, take a look:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Obesity Epidemic - Amy Farrell
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Michael Moore

Now I must confess I'm not that big a fan of Stephen Colbert. I find him obnoxious even though I often agree with him. Not to mention that I hate how he interrupts his guests and changes the subject mid-stream. I much prefer Jon Stewart, who I feel is a better interviewer and gives sharper commentary. (I must confess, I have a crush on Jon, his sharp wit is uber-sexy.)

However, I do quite often agree with Stephen Colbert, he is an intelligent man behind the arrogance. After watching the piece above, I think he touched on some great fat acceptance points in amongst his slightly random rantiness. The best thing is that he has a fairly broad audience, and perhaps he's given them some food for thought (no pun intended) and perhaps one or two of them might even read Amy Farrell's book.

It's when fat acceptance hits the more mainstream media that we really need to sit up and take notice, because this is what REALLY broadens the message. Besides, it's thanks to our hard work here in the fatosphere that it is doing so.

Oh, I've just found where I first saw this video, it was thanks to Fat Grrl.

Falling off the Wagon

Ahh this fat acceptance malarkey is a bit of a process isn't it?

I have fallen off the wagon of fat acceptance. I've been a bit mean to myself over the past few days. You see, I have noticed that I have gained some weight. Ok, I don't know for sure that I've actually gained weight as I don't have scales and refuse to find some to check, but my clothes are a wee bit tighter and I'm feeling sluggish and heavy. So I'm assuming I've gained some weight.

I know why I am having these changes - I'm on holiday. I'm not living my usual breakneck paced lifestyle of rushing around for work and my social life. I'm also out of my routine. So I'm a spending a lot more time relaxing. It's great, I needed it. But I have kind of relaxed enough and am now feeling sluggish and blah.

Of course, the minute I go to put on a pair of pants that were a firm fit before, and now don't fit me, what do I do? All the fat acceptance and gaining strong self esteem slides out the window and I get on hating myself. Yep, I have been berating myself for about two days now. Today I realised that THAT'S ENOUGH.

I was getting ready to go out last night, to see Elvis Costello in concert (my favourite male singer ever) and I had a new dress that I loved, new shoes, and I've just coloured my hair a very bright, intense red. Normally I would be getting ready and feeling all great, but all I could do was criticise bits of myself. For the first time in a long time I even shied away from photographing my new sandals and posting them to Twitter because all I could see when I looked at my feet was how fat they were. Usually I LOVE showing off my shoes.

Thing is, what does it achieve to be hating on myself? I KNOW that it achieves nothing, rationally speaking, but somehow crappy self esteem seems to smack rationality down pretty quickly.

I tried to get over it by taking some photos of my outfit, but found myself taking dozens of pics because I hated every single one that I took. I really thought I'd got over that, but it's silly because the truth is, everyone has days where they feel crappy and are critical of themselves - it's no point being even more critical over that too.

This morning I woke up feeling crud, but kind of turned a corner later in the day as I was getting ready to go out again, and started to feel a bit of a lift.

I have to admit the real lift came when I went to get on a bus into town (I took myself off to a movie) to find that the cute bus driver that I usually only see on the trip home after work had made a completely random shift swap, and there he was on a bus I would never normally take! Not to mention that we've progressed our usual brief flirty hello and goodbye for a 40 minute conversation for the whole bus trip. I believe there may even be an exchange of contact details next time. That's gotta make a girl feel better about herself, hmmm?

Anyway, what I'm trying to say with this post is that all of us will have times that we fall off the self esteem/fat acceptance wagon, that it's a learning process and we have to remember to be kind to ourselves. To do the things that make us feel good, and read lots of positive material (oh the wonder of the fatosphere!) and with time, it does come back.

And in celebration of me finding my mojo again, here is one of the pictures of me in my new dress from last night. Most of the pics are pretty good, now that I'm looking at them through mojo-rich eyes again!

Hmph! She's Just in Denial

Let's continue on the subject of End Fat Talk shall we? End Fat Talk week starts on the 19th of October and I think it's a great movement, so I'm going to keep up with this one through October.

One of the biggest challenges I face with ending fat talk at the moment are not those that are openly nasty or rude, nor those that loathe their own bodies and are finding it hard to let go of the self-fat talk, but those that are patronising. You've probably all experienced them, the ones who go quiet in a conversation about body image and fat talk, only because they're thinking "Listen to the poor fatty, deluding herself that she can be healthy like that." One is tempted to write it off as paranoia or self consciousness when one gets that feeling, but unfortunately I've caught a few people out on it, either talking to others when they think I'm not there, or others have told me that they've done so after I've left. I've also heard other fat friends talking about experiencing the same thing.

I'm not entirely sure how to work with people who believe that those of us who follow fat acceptance and health at any size are deluding ourselves. That we're in denial about our weight.

Sometimes just being really open and reminding them that I know that I am fat helps. A lot of people who are trying to be polite are very confronted by the word fat. I've referred to myself as a fat woman and seen people blink in shock, as if I've just said "Fuck" or called myself the N-word. To so many people, "fat" is the ultimate insult, so to hear someone call themselves that openly and unashamedly they find it confronting.

I've even found myself censoring the word fat when referring to myself, not because I'm ashamed of it, but just because I've seen some pretty intense reactions to it. I try not to, because I consider it MY word and I want to remove the negative power from it, but it's very hard when good people react so intensely to it.

Often I find myself letting it go when someone is clearly of the opinion that I am in denial about my fat. This still doesn't sit comfortably with me because I am trying to actively challenge any shame and stigma about fatness in my life, no matter who it be from. But there are times when it does hurt when someone assumes that I haven't armed myself with as much information as possible and haven't made an informed decision about fat acceptance.

I guess each situation is different and I'm still really learning how to challenge the attitude that fat = unhealthy/morally wrong. Sometimes I'm successful, other times, not so much.

What are your thoughts on ending fat talk from those who believe that fat people are in denial about their bodies? Have you had any successful experiences? Are you someone who used to have this belief about fat people, but have changed that?

Please share in the comments and let's work on this together.

Living with Fattitude!

Well my lovelies, have I got something special for you!

I was reading "Screw Inner Beauty: Lessons from the Fatosphere" by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby (yes, it's called "Lessons from the Fatosphere" in the US - dunno why we have the different name here in Australia) when I came across the most awesome word. Wait for it...

Fattitude

Isn't it fabulous? I totally love it. I used to love the term "fat and sassy" to describe myself, but this new word, "fattitude" just hits the nail on the head perfectly.

So I got thinking about fattitude, and I realised that there were a lot of "sexy fats" and "fashionable fats" out there in the fatosphere as far as groups and pools were concerned, but I don't feel like I fit either of those. I'm not a fatshionista - I couldn't care less about fashion other than to wear stuff that I like and that makes me feel good. I don't particularly want to be sexualised either, it's just not my thing, you know?

What I feel for me is that I am fat with attitude. That I am fat and live a full, fascinating, positive life. But I didn't feel like there was much out there by the way of groups for women like me that weren't about fashion or sexuality.

So I have created a Flickr group called Fattitude. Which is for photos of women and men, who are fat and sassy, fat with attitude, fat and fascinating, fat and positive, fat and full of life.

I would really like for anyone reading this, even those who are not fat, to come along and join this positive, upbeat group and I invite you to post photos of yourselves or your loved ones who are full of fattitude. Fat people having fun, feeling good, living life, being positive. I want this group to be one you can participate in, and also see other fat people who are living their lives to the full, so you know that you can do it too, in those times when you're feeling low.

So roll up one and all, come and join Fattitude on Flickr!

P.S: and please spread the word of this group - the more the merrier!

Combatting Fat Talk

In a comment on my last post, reader Maria raised the issue of how to combat fat talk from others, without being annoying or pushy about it.

I think that's an excellent topic to talk about tonight.

So, how do we go about it? How do we combat fat talk from other people? In particular, other non-fat acceptance people? It's fairly straight up if you're hearing it from someone who is working on fat acceptance, because they've already got a head start. How do you work on it from family, friends, co-workers, your boss, neighbours, shop assistants etc?

It's a tough one. Some people will listen, let you explain. However it's unfortunate that lots of people are so deeply immersed in fat loathing that they just can't see any point but the one that they've had presented them to their whole lives.

Family is probably the toughest. I'm certainly no authority on how to do this with family as I'm estranged from mine. I no longer have to deal with it from them. But if you do have your family in your life, and in fact they love you, you have to deal with the often well intentioned fat talk.

Then there are the friends. Close friends are one thing, but what about the wider circle of friends? Do you talk to them one on one or as a group? I am a bit of a brazen bitch, so I tend to just jump on in when it happens. Not everyone is quite as extroverted as I am though. Often it's subtle fat talk you get. Comments about their own bodies or how bad they've been with diet and exercise.

What about the workplace? I don't know about yours, but mine has all kinds of "health and wellness" initiatives, most of which boil down to diets and weight loss. I actually participated in one, back in my obsessive, fat-loathing days, and in hindsight I can see how insane it was. A big ra-ra club for "let's lose weight fatties!" You actually had to be obese to qualify for it, like some kind of exclusive club. There are constant emails about exercise and healthy living circulated in my workplace. Some of it is very much fat talk, and I find a lot of it perpetuates the poor body image in employees.

Of course, closer to home are the colleagues who love to talk about what diet they are on, how fat they are, how they can't eat this or have to exercise to pay for that. The worst place for it is the lunchroom table. People comment on each other's food, they comment on their own food and how they're "being a bit naughty today" or "Oh, I can't have that, I'm being good." like food has some kind of morality attached to it.

Even when you compliment someone, they often toss back some fat talk. "That's a great dress, you look lovely!" gets the response of "Thanks, I'm having a fat day, this hides all my sins." or similar things.

Shop assistants are a biggie. This is one that I refuse to accept. I used to be terribly hurt and heartbroken by shop assistants either ignoring me or being rude to me. Nowdays I let my dollars do the talking and refuse to shop there. I always love the scene in Absolutely Fabulous when a snobbish shop assistant is rude to Patsy and she looks back and says "Why are you looking down at me? You work in a shop." I will straight up tell a shop assistant that they're rude and what they can do with their merchandise these days.

So there you have some of the areas that you will hear fat talk. I don't know the answers, I just know that it's difficult and there are a lot of factors in the way you handle it. If you're confident, or close to the person, I think it's easier for straight talk, but otherwise it's very difficult.

Here's where I throw it open to you, my dear readers. How do you combat fat talk? Share a story of when you've really been able to nail it and open someone's mind. Or maybe share one where it's gone horribly wrong. What is the hardest type of fat talk to combat? Have you broken the fat talk cycle yourself, or are you still learning.

The floor is open...

No Fat Talk Allowed. Ever.

Let's keep this one simple. This is aimed at college women, but I think it needs to be for EVERYONE. Men too.

I'm going to become a bit of a nag about this one for that week, and hopefully the message will get through to SOMEONE. It shouldn't just be for a week either, it should be a rule we set for always.

Beautifully Fat Art

In my general readings of blogs in the fatosphere this morning, I came across a this post at the Fat Girls Guide to Living, an interview with Elizabeth Patch, from More to Love. I'd not seen Elizabeth's work before, and I'm thrilled to discover it now. Her artwork is bright, fun, whimsical, and most importantly, positive representations of fat women.

Click image for link to purchase Elizabeth's book.

It's rare that we see fat women (or fat men for that matter) portrayed in art in a positive light. Usually we see the gluttinous fat person, the lazy fat person, the greedy fat person. It is starting to change with photographic art, with fantastic projects like The Adipositivity Project and Leonard Nimoy's Full Body Project. To see these changes coming through to artists of other media, such as painters, digital illustrators, sculptors etc is wonderful.

I'd like to see more fat acceptance in art. Do you know of any artists that are fat positive in their work? Please share them in their comments, so I and any readers can have a look. If I particularly like them, I'll blog them up here at a later date.

Dating for Fatties: 101

I recently got a lovely email from a lady named Helen in response to my post "Sex and the Single Fatty". Helen shared with me her own dating experiences (she's about my age) and is looking for some positive, affirming advice for the single fatty over 30. She has asked a few questions, but I'll give you an idea of where she is coming from.

She's doing the online dating thing, and says:

I like how chemistry.com allows folks to state what body types they are attracted to: guys who only want women who are slender/toned/about average are guys I instantly delete as matches: this takes a lot of the pressure off of me when I GET to the date, because I know that the guy in question has stated and openness or attraction to larger women.

Kudos to Helen for putting herself out there and filtering out the douchebags from the get-go. She then goes on to say though:

1) This means that I am deleting about 90% of the matches I'm given, which takes a toll on me eventually, and 2) I hate, hate, hate how often guys say (as one match I just got did) that they want women who "take care of themselves" and "have self respect for their appearance". Of course, I do do both of those things, but I know full well that he means that he wants a thin girl; he just can't bring himself to say that. Reading those sorts of comments over and over and then deleting the match... I think it takes a toll on me. I've also wondered about the BBW dating sites. Has anyone reading this had good experiences with those?

So let's talk about it my fellow lovely fatties? What are your thoughts and experiences?

I tried the whole online dating myself and found it very demoralising, just as Helen has mentioned. Not only because there are a lot of douchebags out there, but also because I feel that without you being face to face, there are many people who find it much easier to be rude and even nasty via email or a website. Where if they met you face to face somewhere, one would think they're more likely to be polite and respectful. As I mentioned on the earlier post linked above, I received a lot of douchebag comments and attitudes from internet dating.

Personally, I feel much more comfortable in just being social and meeting as many new people as I can. So long as I'm socially active, I'm opening myself up to meeting guys, and I hope that the people I meet and like also socialise with nice guys. I'm open to meeting guys that are friends, brothers, colleagues etc of people.

As for BBW dating sites in particular, I'll be honest it kind of rankles with me. I don't want some guy to date me simply because I'm fat. The same as I wouldn't want a guy to only date me if I was thin. I want a man who wants to be with me because he likes who I am, not what I am. Does that make sense?

Personally I'm looking for someone who is more interested in me as a person than just the surface stuff. To all the guys out there, I say...

So the floor is open ladies (and any gents that are reading). How do those of you who are single negotiate the world of fatty dating? For those of you fatties who are coupled up, tell us how you got that way! And if there are any fellas reading, give us your perspective on da fat ladeez in the dating world.

PCOS in the Fatosphere

Before I get into the meat and veg of this post, did you see my new mascot, there on the right? That's my new heffalump, created by the rather talented Luke Bamkin. I have got plans to change the whole layout of the blog more and feature this art more prominently, but I wanted to pop my new friend up there straight away, with her shiny, round, fat buttocks. Cute huh?

Tonight I want to talk some more about PCOS and fat acceptance. I suffer PCOS, and for some years have been quite active in the "cysterhood". Finding women out there that knew all the things I was going through was a hugely healing and strengthening process for me, as prior to being welcomed into the cysterhood, I had always felt inadequate and somehow less than other women. Mostly because I didn't fit what was sold to me as normal for a woman physically. Not just in my body shape and size, but because my body didn't do things that other women's bodies seemed to do naturally. And as my fellow cysters know all too well, sometimes our bodies do extra things that other women's bodies do not do.

To start with, it was nightmarish for me to get a diagnosis of what was wrong with me. In hindsight, I first presented to a doctor with PCOS symptoms when I was 12 years old. I was first officially diagnosed an astonishing 20 years later! Can you believe it? For 20 years I went to doctor after doctor after doctor with all of these things that were happening to me, only to be either misdiagnosed or fobbed off.

And of course, the most common response from doctors in that 20 years was "Lose weight." With no explanation of what losing weight would actually do (other than make me thin) or what was wrong with me. I can remember at 19 going to the doctor after having bled heavily and been in pain for 18 months straight and his treatment? "Go and lose some weight and find yourself a bloke, when you're ready to have babies, we'll look at it all."

How this is not grossly negligent, I do not know. But it was indicative of most of the "treatment" that I got over that 20 years. PCOS sufferers often suffer debilitating depression as a result of the vast amounts of hormones flooding their bodies, but can you imagine what this kind of treatment at the hands of the medical profession does to women who already have low self esteem, feel unfeminine and who often live in vast amounts of pain?

However, at 32 years of age, I finally got a diagnosis. With a very good doctor who was, and is, the most sensitive I have ever encountered and I've been her patient ever since. However, her first treatment was to get me losing weight. Being the good girl, I followed her advice, and we tried a LOT of things to get me to lose weight. From food diaries to Metformin to the worst of them all... duramine (legally prescribed speed - EVIL stuff).

I joined a lot of PCOS groups and forums online. I met literally hundreds of amazing women, some of whom I am now lucky to call my dearest friends, all over the world. But the entire culture of "fat is evil" is rampant within the cystersphere, from high profile cysters who have their own boards who promote boot camps and radically restrictive diets, which I believe are projections of their own fat fear and self hatred, to the high promotion of weight loss surgery, diet fads that come and go, and many frightening medications that make cysters very, very sick with their side effects (oh that duramine!)

As per my last post, I did lose weight, a LOT of weight (though not with the duramine, that shit nearly killed me) and guess what? My PCOS symptoms got worse. And I fell apart, emotionally, mentally and physically.

But as hitting rock bottom often is, it was the push I needed to start swimming to the surface in my life. The fabulous GP referred me to a psychologist who specialises in cognitive behavioural therapy. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

It started with finding some confidence. Not being so hard on myself. Building up the self esteem. I started reaching out to other cysters the way many had reached out to me, because I want to give back and the feeling of seeing a new cyster friend hit that moment of "Oh my God I am NOT a FREAK!" is just wonderful. I started pushing back gently with my GP about the weight loss thing, and amazingly, she has responded positively. I gave up the Metformin (which I will admit, did give me a clockwork cycle if nothing else) and found the fat acceptance movement. I stopped obsessing about food and exercise and my body and focused on feeling good, inside and out. And I feel healthier than ever right now.

I really feel that we cysters are put through so much. To start with our bodies aren't like "normal" women's bodies, and that not only causes us pain and low self esteem, but it worries us as well. Then we go through the whole cycle of doctors telling us we're too fat, lose weight and our troubles will go away which is so often simply not true. Then they shove us through all kinds of invasive, painful and humiliating medical procedures and drugs to try to get us to lose weight. Let alone the ones they foist on us if we want to have babies, which so often just don't work either. Finally they wash their hands of us once we either finish our breeding or decide not to breed. As though the value of our health is only valid when we are breeding. And finally when we do reach menopause, they ignore the fact that it is more likely for us to have traumatic menopause because of the different hormone patterns.

If you're a sufferer of PCOS, leave me a comment, tell me your experiences. Particularly around fat acceptance/discrimination with your PCOS.

I want to connect cysters up within the fatosphere, without all of the fat hatred and the "You must lose weight or you're never going to survive PCOS" schtick. I want to connect up the single cysters, the lesbian cysters, the very young cysters and the older cysters, the cysters who have chosen not to have children or who have reached the end of that fight. I want it to be about who you are as wonderful, strong, resilient women, not about your body shape and breeding abilities.

Most of all, I want cysters to find their self esteem, to learn that they are awesome women and that the healthiest thing you can do is learn to love yourself.

Fat and Feminism... (or shut the fuck up bitch a man is speaking)

If you have seen the comments on my post "Still a Long Way To Go" you will see I have been plagued a bit by a troll over the past couple of days. Not your standard troll who likes to antagonise just for the fun of it, but a poor, hard done by man called William who really believes that he's got the God given right, just because he's a man, to fill up someone else's blog with his "You women have got to stop whinging, we men have got it so hard too." attitudes.

Unfortunately he doesn't respond to either open debate or ignoring/deleting him, and has started emailing me as well. Because what he wants is not for his voice to be heard (which he could quite easily do by blogging in his own space and move on from mine, which he is so determined to prove is WRONG and MISINFORMATION), but he wants for me to just SHUT UP and say "Oh yes William, you wise man, you are so right, men are so hard done by."

Well that ain't gonna happen folks.

You see, this is one of the problems with fat acceptance. Not only are we fighting for acceptance as fat PEOPLE in this world, but there are also a very noisy population of men out there who just want women to shut the fuck up and stop talking, which makes it a feminist issue too. Stop complaining, stop having a voice, stop standing up for what they believe in, stop speaking for other women who don't have the confidence to do so, stop arguing... just shut the fuck up already bitch, you are so WRONG!

The saddest thing is that douchebags like this drown out the very valid points that other more respectful men are trying to make, as you will see by the other man who comments on that blog - who is a respectful gentleman and not swallowed up by the "Oh my God a woman is speaking and she doesn't agree with me, that' can't happen!" attitude.

Yes, I said douchebag. A douchebag is a man that has offensive attitudes towards women.

Because what men like William want is for women to be invisible, especially fat women, because then he doesn't have that pedestal of "Well I'm a man AND I'm fat!" over them.

I don't want to get involved in the politics of fat acceptance. But so long as there are men out there who honestly believe that women don't have the right or reason to point out that there is a vast double standard when it comes to the attitudes in society towards women and their physical appearance and men and their physical appearance, I will have to. Especially as I am a woman who has some confidence and the ability to string a few sentences together.

So long as there are men out there who demand that women stop complaining about this double standard and expecting us to just shut up and go away, I feel obligated to speak up about it. I will continue to do so until those men get it that there IS a double standard, and that while there are issues that fat men face in society today, that those issues are vastly amplified for women, who have their value read in their appearance more than their brains, or heart, or humour.

Until then, I will exercise my power on my blog to delete, block and report the douchebags to my heart's content.

Don't Cry for Me, Interwebz!

Just a quick clarification for those who are not used to seeing fat acceptance in the world.

This is not a blog to make people feel sorry for me. It is not a "poor me, feel sorry for me because I'm fat and people are mean to me" blog.

I will be sharing lots of horror stories. But that is not for sympathy, it's for the following purposes.

1. To share my stories so that other fatties don't feel so alone.
2. To raise awareness of just how deeply ingrained fat phobia is in our culture.
3. To draw attention to just how hurtful, nasty and insensitive some people can be, in the hope that it will make others think again before making comments about people's weight.

I just wanted to clarify that I don't feel sorry for myself, and the stories that I'm sharing here on this blog are not for sympathy or pity, they're for spreading a very firm message.

Stay fabulous!

Welcome!

Well hello there. Welcome to my shiny new blog. Come on in, make yourself comfortable. Don't mind the mess, I'm just moving in, so I'll be setting up for a little while. I hate the decor, but I'll be whipping out my decorating kit over the next few days, don't despair.

Some of you may already know me from other blogs (which I may pop in the sidebar later, just for your reference), others may be here because you've found me out there in the land of the interwebz and you're curious to know more about this aspect of my life. Either way, you are most welcome.

A little about why I am setting up this blog perhaps? Well, let's see...

Firstly, I am rather inspired by the work of Natalie, Nick, Sonya, Janey and Zoe have started on The Axis of Fat. I think we need more fat positivity/acceptance work from Australians (this is a very, very fat phobic country) and I'm willing to put my blogging where my mouth is, and join this community.

I also want to be a voice for fat, single women over 35, as I am one myself. I don't seem to be able to find any others out there, but I'd love to be proven wrong. Leave me a link in the comments if you know of any out there. It's hard enough being single, fat, or over 35 individually, combine the three and you have a whole swag of fun and games to deal with.

I want to do something positive in the face of all the negativity and hatred/anger towards fat women (and men for that matter). And while I am projecting positivity, I am also drawing positivity towards me, which like any vulnerable human being, I need, despite the fact that I look and sound like a super confident lady on the surface.

And finally, I want to share my story in the hope that the fat phobes out there will stop and think about what the hell they're spouting, and about the fact that they're spreading hate towards their fellow human beings who have feelings and hopes and aspirations.

So watch this space, I hope that you find some positivity and insight in my writing.